Contra Callers

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4391 discussions

Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling

by Chip Hedler

This isn't EXACTLY a mental health issue, but a few years ago there was a male dancer in our area whose MO was to find unaccompanied young women who looked new to dancing and uncertain, take them under his wing, monopolize them, and become increasingly physically intrusive and obnoxious with them. At some of the larger dances I think some of the women attending told him off and he appeared much less frequently there but didn't disappear, shifting his attentions to smaller community-oriented dances such as the ones I've called regularly. When he showed up at a public dance I was calling and started his routine, at the first break I asked him to come outside for a private chat. I told him what I had seen (almost completely monopolizing that particular dancer, and pressing her and other women he met in the line closely and grasping rather than supporting them while swinging). I told him how I felt his behavior went counter to the norms of this and most dances, exploited the normal trust dancers share and enjoy while in each other's arms, and in fact, was blatant sexual harrassment. I shared the revulsion and anxiety that other dancers had expressed to me about his presence and how that deeply undermined their ability to enjoy participating. In conclusion, I told him that, speaking for myself as the caller and on behalf of many others, if any of this behavior continued, his presence would be unwelcome enough that I would ask him to leave. He made feeble denials and protests, but cleaned up his act for the next couple of dances before leaving early. The next dance where I was calling at which he turned up, I was able to speak to him before the dance started and reminded him of our previous conversation. But before the break, he started pushing the limits as before and I had to speak with him again. This time, after making similar feeble excuses, he simply left and never appeared again at any dances I called or attended. What happens away from dances isn't really my first concern as a caller, but as a community member I found it significant news when it was later reported widely that similar behavior on his part in other settings had led to legal consequences. My only regret is that I hadn't dealt with it before it became so blatant. Have others had to deal with this kind of situation, and if so, how? Chip Hedler

14 years, 1 month

Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling

by Martha Wild

I have had friends who were depressed who came dancing. One of the good things about contradancing for them was that during the dancing, because you have to pay attention and interact with people, there is little time to think depressive thoughts, so at least for the space of the dance their load was lightened. I have known two autistic adults who came to the dances. They were both at the university - bright but definitely socially challenged. I was at first surprised because they did quite well and enjoyed it, but I think in retrospect that it worked well because the way you interact with other people is carefully defined for you - allemande left, do-si-do, etc. With the one man that I knew best, small talk was an impossibility, and distressed him, but the dancing was OK. Luckily haven't had to deal with anyone particularly out of control, except one man who came to the dance drunk once, and I was the manager. I decided to suggest he sit out the dancing until he felt better - he got angry, and I was pretty nervous, but then he just turned around and left. Big sigh of relief. In any event, I personally think contradancing is GREAT therapy. Music, movement, contact with other people - as long as you have a friendly, supportive group that helps make newcomers feel welcome and confident, it's good for what ails you. Martha On Jul 7, 2011, at 9:00 AM, callers-request(a)sharedweight.net wrote: > Send Callers mailing list submissions to > callers(a)sharedweight.net > > To subscribe or unsubscribe via the World Wide Web, visit > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > or, via email, send a message with subject or body 'help' to > callers-request(a)sharedweight.net > > You can reach the person managing the list at > callers-owner(a)sharedweight.net > > When replying, please edit your Subject line so it is more specific > than "Re: Contents of Callers digest..." > > > Today's Topics: > > 1. mental health and dance calling (jill allen) > 2. Re: mental health and dance calling (Bree Kalb) > 3. Re: mental health and dance calling (Greg McKenzie) > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > > Message: 1 > Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2011 15:05:05 -0500 > From: jill allen <jillallen3(a)att.net> > To: callers(a)sharedweight.net > Subject: [Callers] mental health and dance calling > Message-ID: <C6B30E88-7FF3-4C61-9CFA-ECAC3CAAF3DD(a)att.net> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii > > We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly > appeared one night ranting about the police and tasers. He was > drooling and showing delusional behavior, and was still dancing. > Most dancers didn't think much of it, but some were very upset. > > He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when > he came to our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes > on the sidewalk and greeting the children, I started feeling the > need for a plan. I talked with the local mental health facility > and spoke to other organizers, but you know, what can you do? > Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a half hour conversation > at a dance one night with him. We were just chatting, and > something magic happened. I got to know him really well. Every > time he came to a dance, I talked with him. He began to trust me, > and vice versa. I found out that he had been care-taking for his > elderly dad, who was living with him. His dad recently passed away > while he was away at a dance weekend. He explained that his > father's death and his guilt for being gone had triggered his > mental issues. I don't know if it helped him to make friends with > me, but it sure helped me! I found him to be a really sweet > person. I used to dr > ead his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him. He is > still coming to dances, which seems to help him. His medications > are better adjusted now and he blends in much better and is > appropriate on the dance floor, for the most part. > > I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why > not first try going straight to the problem with accidental love > and friendship. > > Good luck, > Jill Allen > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 2 > Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2011 18:42:05 -0400 > From: "Bree Kalb" <bree(a)mindspring.com> > To: <callers(a)sharedweight.net> > Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling > Message-ID: <92215C3FFBA84A9AB01D7D42E3466820@BreeHomeLaptop> > Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1"; > reply-type=original > > What a lovely story, Jill. Although I'm a mental health > professional I'm > often unsure how to include dancers with obvious problems. You've > provided > an inspiration. > > Bree Kalb > Carrboro NC > > -----Original Message----- > From: jill allen > Sent: Wednesday, July 06, 2011 4:05 PM > To: callers(a)sharedweight.net > Subject: [Callers] mental health and dance calling > > We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly > appeared one > night ranting about the police and tasers. He was drooling and > showing > delusional behavior, and was still dancing. Most dancers didn't > think much > of it, but some were very upset. > > He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when > he came to > our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the > sidewalk and > greeting the children, I started feeling the need for a plan. I > talked with > the local mental health facility and spoke to other organizers, but > you > know, what can you do? Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a > half hour > conversation at a dance one night with him. We were just chatting, > and > something magic happened. I got to know him really well. Every > time he > came to a dance, I talked with him. He began to trust me, and vice > versa. > I found out that he had been care-taking for his elderly dad, who > was living > with him. His dad recently passed away while he was away at a dance > weekend. He explained that his father's death and his guilt for > being gone > had triggered his mental issues. I don't know if it helped him to > make > friends with me, but it sure helped me! I found him to be a really > sweet > person. I used to dr > ead his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him. He is > still coming > to dances, which seems to help him. His medications are better > adjusted now > and he blends in much better and is appropriate on the dance floor, > for the > most part. > > I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why > not > first try going straight to the problem with accidental love and > friendship. > > Good luck, > Jill Allen > > > > ------------------------------ > > Message: 3 > Date: Wed, 6 Jul 2011 18:31:55 -0700 > From: Greg McKenzie <grekenzie(a)gmail.com> > To: "Caller's discussion list" <callers(a)sharedweight.net> > Subject: Re: [Callers] mental health and dance calling > Message-ID: > <CAFqkWLtshhmp_+C-2utra9vzdEQ3AwUWaEamr9a0XyLBB_ugRg(a)mail.gmail.com> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 > > Thank you Jill! What a wonderful story! > > I am going to chime in with one of my own stories. I have been > observing > the dances for years and there are many stories. This one is not as > delightful as yours. > > Years ago a man started attending a dance where I called often. > After about > a year some women complained to me that he seemed to always have > whiskey on > his breath. He also always seemed to be lost during the dances. > Some women > started avoiding him. I decided to take some action and had a casual > conversation with him one night. He mentioned that my calling was > always > very clear but that he often got confused with other callers. I > thanked him > and mentioned--in a lighthearted way--that, for me, I get confused > if I've > had one or two glassess of wine. He didn't say anything. > > He kept attending dances, but a bit less often. About six months > later > someone told me that he had committed suicide. I have always > wished I could > have handled that one a little better. I still feel that it was a > lost > opportunity. Now I am living with a therapist so this kind of > thing is much > more salient to me. > > - Greg McKenzie > > ************** > > On Wed, Jul 6, 2011 at 1:05 PM, jill allen <jillallen3(a)att.net> wrote: > >> We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly >> appeared >> one night ranting about the police and tasers. He was drooling >> and showing >> delusional behavior, and was still dancing. Most dancers didn't >> think much >> of it, but some were very upset. >> >> He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when >> he came >> to our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the >> sidewalk >> and greeting the children, I started feeling the need for a plan. >> I talked >> with the local mental health facility and spoke to other >> organizers, but you >> know, what can you do? Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a >> half hour >> conversation at a dance one night with him. We were just >> chatting, and >> something magic happened. I got to know him really well. Every >> time he >> came to a dance, I talked with him. He began to trust me, and >> vice versa. >> I found out that he had been care-taking for his elderly dad, who >> was >> living with him. His dad recently passed away while he was away >> at a dance >> weekend. He explained that his father's death and his guilt for >> being gone >> had triggered his mental issues. I don't know if it helped him to >> make >> friends with me, but it sure helped me! I found him to be a >> really sweet >> person. I used to dr >> ead his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him. He is still >> coming to dances, which seems to help him. His medications are >> better >> adjusted now and he blends in much better and is appropriate on >> the dance >> floor, for the most part. >> >> I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but >> why not >> first try going straight to the problem with accidental love and >> friendship. >> >> Good luck, >> Jill Allen >> _______________________________________________ >> Callers mailing list >> Callers(a)sharedweight.net >> http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers >> > > > ------------------------------ > > _______________________________________________ > Callers mailing list > Callers(a)sharedweight.net > http://www.sharedweight.net/mailman/listinfo/callers > > > End of Callers Digest, Vol 83, Issue 3 > **************************************

14 years, 1 month

mental health and dance calling

by jill allen

We had a gentleman coming to our dances for years, who suddenly appeared one night ranting about the police and tasers. He was drooling and showing delusional behavior, and was still dancing. Most dancers didn't think much of it, but some were very upset. He continued to come to every dance, Contra and English, but when he came to our sweet little Family Dance and was smoking cigarettes on the sidewalk and greeting the children, I started feeling the need for a plan. I talked with the local mental health facility and spoke to other organizers, but you know, what can you do? Well, somewhat accidentally, I had about a half hour conversation at a dance one night with him. We were just chatting, and something magic happened. I got to know him really well. Every time he came to a dance, I talked with him. He began to trust me, and vice versa. I found out that he had been care-taking for his elderly dad, who was living with him. His dad recently passed away while he was away at a dance weekend. He explained that his father's death and his guilt for being gone had triggered his mental issues. I don't know if it helped him to make friends with me, but it sure helped me! I found him to be a really sweet person. I used to dread his presence, and now I look forward to seeing him. He is still coming to dances, which seems to help him. His medications are better adjusted now and he blends in much better and is appropriate on the dance floor, for the most part. I am sure that this approach won't work for all situations, but why not first try going straight to the problem with accidental love and friendship. Good luck, Jill Allen

14 years, 2 months

Mental Health and Dance Calling

by Greg McKenzie

A Surgeon General report states: "The current prevalence estimate is that about 20 percent of the U.S. population are affected by mental disorders during a given year." http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/chapter2/sec2_1.html What impact do mental health problems have upon callers? Do you have a personal experience with a specific individual? Do you consider the number of depressed, paranoid, or otherwise troubled people in the hall--many of whom have been struggling with stressful life changes? How do callers approach this issue? Do you consider this to be beyond your responsibility? Do you think that this affects your success as a caller? (In the "average" dance hall there is likely to be at least one individual who is currently paranoid...to at least some degree. How will they respond to negative comments from the caller?) I would be interested in your experience and how you approach this issue. - Greg McKenzie

14 years, 2 months

Give and Take 4x4

by Thomas J Senior

A while ago, i was intending to call a 4x4 (The Warm Up) at our local dance, the Chicago Barn Dance, but thought it might be nice to use a dance that accomplished the same thing (swinging both opposites during the sequence) but not using the star or a hey. Another idea to incorporate was the give and take, which seemed a good move for the standard introductory figure of many 4x4s. What i came up with is called Villa Olivia (where i wrote the dance): Villa Olivia 4x4 Tom Senior note "buddy" in your line of 4, (same gender person) and the direction you face. A1. Lines go forward, Men draw opposite back to swing (Give and Take), end the swing facing your buddy across the line of direction of the dance. A2. Make and ring, balance, twirl right one place (as in petronella), swing opposite #2. End facing across to your buddy. B1. Right and left across, ladies chain 1/2, turning to end facing partner. (in the direction of progression) B2. Lines go forwrd, Women draw partner back to swing. End swing facing original direction. Perhaps you may find this useful. Tom -- Tom Senior Dance while you can. see my website: http://marblechimes.com/

14 years, 2 months

Re: [Callers] Callers Fees

by Sue Robishaw

The sharing of info on this thread has been great, and certainly helped me a lot (and I know I'm not alone here). Thanks so much to all. My calling experience has been more in the free or food paying level, and when playing in a dance band for a new dance series we've been paid $10-15 each from the proceeds of the Swing Dance night since the contra/square night hasn't made enough money yet. So I'm happy to hear others are paid sometimes and will aim to that goal in our own series. If anyone has any input for ONS gigs that would be nice, too. On a different level than the ongoing series, an annual week-end traditional music festival in the region may pay festival callers $200-250 for part of the Friday night dance plus one or two hour long workshops during the weekend. Plus they get free admission and meals. It varies a lot because the bands and callers are usually also contracted for other performances at the festival. There have been in the past a few single dance events where the caller was paid $50-75. Bands may be paid $200-500. Summer cheers, Sue Robishaw

14 years, 2 months

Re: [Callers] American Country Dances Online

by Mark Widmer

Thanks Clark. Looks like it is indeed defunct, unless/until somebody is willing to take on hosting duties for it. From your link, I was able to find the webpage of Russell Owen, who used to maintain American Country Dances Online. He has just recently shut it down; he has this note on his webpage: Note: if you are looking for American Country Dances On Line: I shut down 2011-06-13 as I did not have time to maintain it. If you wish to host it please contact me. Russell Owen University of Washington PO Box 351580 Seattle, WA 98195-1580 rowen uw edu Russell's webpage is at http://www.astro.washington.edu/users/rowen/ -- Mark > From: Clark Baker<cmbaker(a)tiac.net> > To: Caller's discussion list<callers(a)sharedweight.net> > Subject: Re: [Callers] American Country Dances Online > Message-ID:<DD011E0F-7948-46CB-BFEE-21A1868A668F(a)tiac.net> > Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii > > Not a perfect answer, but perhaps this will help... > > http://classic-web.archive.org/web/*/http://arcserve.astro.washington.edu/d… > > On Jun 26, 2011, at 7:51 PM, Mark Widmer wrote: > >> Does anyone know what became of the website American Country Dances Online? It used to be at >> >> http://arcserve.astro.washington.edu/dances/ >> >> It was a useful way to find dances when I was a newer caller, and I would like to pass it on somebody. But it is either defunct or has moved elsewhere. >> >> Mark Widmer >>

14 years, 2 months

Marching Band Analogy

by Gretchen Caldwell

One of those "aha!" moments: A new contradancer here in Charlotte, after his first night dancing, said "Hey! This is just like marching band! I know I have 6 counts to get to the next place!" Gonna see how I can incorporate that idea into Monday night's teaching... Gretchen Caldwell Charlotte, NC

14 years, 2 months

Callers' Week Intensive at Cumberland Dance Week (July 17-23)

by Tepfer, Seth

Please feel free to pass on to callers new and experienced, wanna-be callers, friends, total strangers, dead people, whomever might want to come. Thanks! :) Callers Week Intensive at Cumberland Dance Week (July 17-23) Cumberland Dance Week will feature a callers' intensive program this year. Two full sessions each day of instruction, exercises, and practice time, led by Seth Tepfer. The week will feature 3 late night open mic calling times and opportunities to add more dance parties. During the week we will cover: * Introduction to calling * Effective teaching * Calling squares * Programming an evening * The Beginners workshop (new dancer session) * Working with musicians * The Business side (marketing, money, insurance) * Dance Weekends * and much more This class is for people who want to: * learn to call from scratch (contras or squares) * take their calling to the next level * call and teach more effectively * practice calling in a safe space Each day we will have one session where we will go over material in a setting that provides a mix of lecture, discussion, and active participatory exercises. The second session will be lab, where we will be practicing calling contras and squares with live music and dance guinea pigs. Participants will have homework each day and be expected to participate in the open calling sessions and dance parties. Cumberland Dance Week is July 17-23, 2011 at Lake Cumberland 4-H Educational Center, Nancy Kentucky. More information about Cumberland Dance week is available at: www.cumberlanddanceweek.org/<http://www.cumberlanddanceweek.org/> Cost starts at $699 (2 adults per room, all inclusive). Scholarships are available. Call 770-289-3204 or email seth(a)danceRhapsody.com<http://www.dancerhapsody.com/redir.aspx?C=9ea99a1f8b424edba2141ac2e0fc0748&…> to discuss details. ________________________________ This e-mail message (including any attachments) is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of this message (including any attachments) is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please contact the sender by reply e-mail message and destroy all copies of the original message (including attachments).

14 years, 2 months

American Country Dances Online

by Mark Widmer

Does anyone know what became of the website American Country Dances Online? It used to be at http://arcserve.astro.washington.edu/dances/ It was a useful way to find dances when I was a newer caller, and I would like to pass it on somebody. But it is either defunct or has moved elsewhere. Mark Widmer

14 years, 2 months

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